I have already been accused of stretching the truth, of changing the context of the story. These artworks are not lies, the lies were the things that were said to me. I was told that my time wasn't valuable, whether or not they intended it to be a gender based comment, my experiences are colored and influenced by being a woman. These are the words that were said to me, one should take responsibility for their words and their actions. I assure you, I remember these words clearly. Ask any woman or gender minority person if they recall a specific moment when they were told they weren't important, or their time wasn't valuable or that they should not be allowed to make their own decisions. They will recall a specific, if not many, occurrences of this. In the words of our true goddess, Oprah,
"For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dare speak the truth to the power of those men.
But their time is up. Their time is up."
I am so grateful for the incredible pioneers of civil and equal rights for people of color, the LBGTQ community and for women. I am strong, but I can only dare to dream that I can be half as strong as any of these incredible activists. If I can channel even a fraction of their courage and honesty it will be worth it. That is why I am making these artworks and telling these stories, believe me, they hurt to tell.
"Lies I've Been Told: 'You Should Be Happy'" 60x80", Cotton Woven Blanket, 2017
He made a decision that would affect our lives and informed me of it rather than pursing this decision together. I was told, "You should be happy when a good decision is made for you." That my opinion, didn't matter. That I should accept a decision that was made for me without complaint or protest. That I should not be allowed to make these decisions that will affect my life forever.
I said "No." And I left.
Why a blanket? Good question.
I have always had a strong love and connection with blankets as comfort objects. This is my attempt to reclaim the power of those words, to gain strength from them and to transform them into something for myself. I have been afraid to talk about these moments or to share these stories for fear of shame. The time is up for fear of speaking up is over. Me too.